touching.. =c

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and
soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story...


MARRIAGE



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.



Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know
what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.



She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?



I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just
pitied her!



With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.



She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent
ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of
me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a
kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.



The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something
at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell
asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.



When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.



In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.



This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to
recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.



She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of
our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.



I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully..



My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was
explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we
both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in
my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about
the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the
office.



On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.



On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.




On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger.



She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few
dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.



Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her
heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.



Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.



But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.



I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore.



She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have
a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I
won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I
didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.



Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed
the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.



At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my
wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I
run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend
and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a
real happy marriage!


If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.


If you do, you just might save a marriage.


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they
were to success when they gave up.




-this story is from facebook =D

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. ~Veronica A. Shoffstall, "After a While," 1971

Way Back into Love

A song of my new beginning, our new beginning...

Song lyrics | Way Back Into Love lyrics


With love! Enjoy~

The Climb~

I will keep on doing me best!
Enjoy the song~

Going where the wind blows~

Whatever life has to offer, I'll just take it.

 

That's how I feel right now.

 

Enjoy,

Going where the wind blows.

 

Life for Rent

dido - life for rent songs
Free mp3 download | free music download

~click play on the above to enjoy the song.

Hunter

 

 Currently, that's how I feel.

Enjoy~

Beauty..

Adapted from http://www.ikedaquotes.org/beauty.html

ON WOMEN'S BEAUTY..

I find a woman's face weathered from numerous storms in life to be beautiful. No matter what her age, just like the beauty of grains on wood that deepens with passage of time, beauty that has endured hardships shines with a distinctive splendor.


When one sees a woman for what she really is, free of decoration or cosmetics, I believe her life in all its naturalness, and her true, indestructible beauty emerges. But what is this elusive quality called beauty?


In ancient Chinese literature the so-called beautiful woman looks thin and fragile. Her feet are tiny, because they have been bound, and she looks frail, almost sickly. That seems to have been the preference at a certain time. But later, in the T'ang dynasty, an ideal woman was someone voluptuous and healthy-looking. Even today, many cultures consider plump women to be beautiful and young women are strongly encouraged to eat well. This may sound incredible to women who live in societies where tall and thin models set the trend for what is considered beautiful.


In my country, Japan, too, the definition of beauty seems to vary according to the times. Beautiful women who were portrayed in wood-block prints during the Edo period had long faces, thin eyes and large, protruding chins. But, after the Second World War, women who were quite buxom were suddenly considered attractive. This makes me question how there can be such different standards in society concerning women's beauty.


Women tend to find themselves caught in a trap that makes them eager to fit themselves in the mold of "the beautiful woman"�a standard set by the social trends of the time.


The purpose of this endless pursuit, and who it is for, are often forgotten. Perhaps, in the end, the pursuit of beauty is actually for yourself, so that you can feel good when you look at yourself in the mirror. If the purpose of beauty is to be attractive to others, then, I would honestly recommend that this time and energy be spent on polishing and cultivating your inner self; your character, as I think that would be much more effective in serving your purpose.


Whether it be your boyfriend, husband, or friends...why are they attracted to you? I am sure it's not only because of your looks but because of who you are, what they find in you, the beauty of your mind and your personality. No matter how pretty a woman is, if her attraction is only in her physical looks, I don't think the appeal will last, but rather fade away with time. True, lasting attraction to another human being comes from an inner beauty and confidence that shine from within.


I once heard a story from a woman who had gone to her twentieth high school reunion. She made an astonishing discovery. Most of the women who had been beauties in their youth looked rather dull, while many of those who had been plain now shone with an inner beauty. As she talked to these friends from many years back, she realized that some of those who had been beautiful had not had to make much effort to attract attention, and this rather self-satisfied attitude had stayed with them through the years, while the more plain-looking women had clearly been working to develop themselves and had become truly attractive as human beings.


For me a woman's true beauty lies not in her appearance, but deep within her heart. A woman who makes all-out efforts and who exerts herself wholeheartedly in her field is beautiful; she really shines. She looks sharp and focused and full of confidence. This kind of radiance will always outshine for me any external beauty related to what a woman is wearing. In fact those who are aware of their inner beauty don't need to seek borrowed beauty from outside. And, sadly, those who care only for their physical appearance are often spiritually impoverished and trying to conceal that lack with exterior trappings.


We all long for things of beauty-beauty of nature, of appearance, of life, a beautiful family and so on. But these cannot be gained if we are withdrawn and isolated, just looking at ourselves. We must create better relationships with other people and interact with our community and society with an open heart. We must be kind to nature. It is only through this process that we really grow and cultivate our own beauty.


A woman who can praise, appreciate and wholeheartedly respect those around her is more beautiful than another who is constantly criticizing others. In the same way, someone who can find joy and excitement of her own in her daily life, or even in nature and the changes of the seasons, has the warmth and brightness that can give a sense of peace and comfort to others. Being an expert in discovering beauty makes one beautiful.


The famous sculptor Rodin once said that beauty is not found in one woman but in every woman. And he identified the source that lights up this beauty as the "flame in one's inner life." The flame of a pure heart, the flame of compassion, the flame of hope, and the flame of courage. These flames are the source of light which enable women to shine with beauty.


It is said that "A woman's beauty shines with age." I find so much wisdom in these words. People normally connect beauty and youth, and cannot link the word "beautiful woman" with "older woman." A young woman in her teens is indeed beautiful, but there is a different kind of beauty that is found in women in their 30s, 50s, even 70s. When we seek beauty inside a person, we will realize that a truly beautiful woman is a person whose inner beauty continues to deepen and be cultivated with time.


Buddhism teaches that your physical appearance is a reflection of your inner self. Hence, a truly beautiful woman knows who she is and what her strengths are and is happy and confident to be true to herself.


Today we live in an age where commercialism determines what is "beautiful," but please remember that you cannot find true beauty in these fashionable trends. Beauty cannot be bought with money either. Many insecure young women tend to become confused by such messages sent out by the mass producers of today's society, but I feel that appreciating and realizing your own beauty means establishing a secure and robust inner self that will not be swayed by outer circumstances.


Every woman can be beautiful. It all begins by believing in your own beauty.

The Spirit Carries On

Daisaku Ikeda

What is Happiness?


What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire: to become happy.

Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.

A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly happiness for women. When she first thought about happiness she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure or getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage.) But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage didn't necessarily guarantee happiness.

She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married men with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.

Gradually, she realized that the secret of happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone — man or woman — does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one's own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage.

She finally told me, "Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn't exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within our state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life."

I agree entirely. You yourself know best whether you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not known to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.

Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. There is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us. Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality — the amount of energy or "life-force" we have — is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.

True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away from yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you don't challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within.

Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy.

The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For someone who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who is prepared, whose legs and arms have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight.

My teacher used to talk about two kinds of happiness — "relative" and "absolute" happiness. Relative happiness is happiness that depends on things outside ourselves: friends and family, surroundings, the size of our home or family income.

This is what we feel when a desire is fulfilled, or something we have longed for is obtained. While the happiness such things bring us is certainly real, the fact is that none of this lasts forever. Things change. People change. This kind of happiness shatters easily when external conditions alter.

Relative happiness is also based on comparison with others. We may feel this kind of happiness at having a newer or bigger home than the neighbors. But that feeling turns to misery the moment they start making new additions to theirs!

Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is something we must find within. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us. A deep sense of joy is something which can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. It is eternal and inexhaustible.

This kind of satisfaction is to be found in consistent and repeated effort, so that we can say, "Today, again, I did my very best. Today, again, I have no regrets. Today, again, I won." The accumulated result of such efforts is a life of great victory.

What we should compare is not ourselves against others. We should compare who we are today against who we were yesterday, who we are today against who we will be tomorrow. While this may seem simple and obvious, true happiness is found in a life of constant advancement. And the same worries that could have made us miserable can actually be a source of growth when we approach them with courage and wisdom.

One friend whose dramatic life proved this was Natalia Satz, who founded the first children's theater in Moscow. In the 1930s, she and her husband were marked by Soviet Union's secret police. Even though they were guilty of no crime, her husband was arrested and executed and she was sent to a prison camp in the frozen depths of Siberia.

After she recovered from the initial shock, she started looking at her situation, not with despair, but for opportunity. She realized that many of her fellow prisoners had special skills and talents. She began organizing a "university," encouraging the prisoners to share their knowledge. "You. You are a scientist. Teach us about science. You are an artist. Talk to us about art."

In this way, the boredom and terror of the prison camp were transformed into the joy of learning and teaching. Eventually, Mrs. Satz even made use of her own unique talents to organize a theater group. She survived the five-year prison sentence, and dedicated the rest of her long life to creating children's theater. When we met for the first time in Moscow in 1981, she was already in her 80s. She was as radiant and buoyant as a young girl. Her smile was the smile of someone who has triumphed over the hardships of life. Hers is the kind of spirit I had in mind when I wrote the following poem on "Happiness":

A person with a vast heart is happy.
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.
A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life's depths
while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.


This short essay is adapted from..
http://www.ikedaquotes.org/contents/short_essays/happiness.html

There's also another meaningful essay "on Women's Beauty" in the website.
Also, check out all those quotes.
Truly inspiring.

"To me, some songs are like clouds, some are like water."

KITARO

Biography

Early life

Inspired by the R&B music of Otis Redding, Kitaro taught himself how to play guitar. He says of teaching himself, "I never had education in music, I just learned to trust my ears and my feelings." He gives credit for his creations to a power beyond himself. "This music is not from my mind," he said. "It is from heaven, going through my body and out my fingers through composing. Sometimes I wonder. I never practice. I don't read or write music, but my fingers move. I wonder, 'Whose song is this?' I write my songs, but they are not my songs."

While attending Toyohashi Commercial High School, he organized the "Albatross" band with his friends. At that time, they performed in parties and clubs. "In high school, I was in an amateur band. I started out playing the guitar but then changed to the keyboards. Before one of our gigs, the drummer was injured. I had no experience at all on the drums, but I had to learn it because I was the leader of the band, and we had to do the gig. My drumming was not very good, but we got through the show in one piece. Later, the bassist had injuries, so I had to learn how to play the bass. [These accidents are] the main reasons why I can play all these instruments; I had a crash course in how to play them. It was a hard time for me, but a very good experience. It created the base knowledge of all the instruments I use and need to create my current brand of music. After graduating, I really wanted to be in the music business, so I moved to Tokyo and started looking for bands to play with. I basically did it for the experience and to get a feel of all the clubs that were available in Tokyo and Yokohama. At that time I played keyboards, and then I discovered the synthesizer. This was a revelation. First of all, the instructions for the thing were in English so I couldn't read them. I was trying to make sounds but couldn't! I tried for a whole day, but no sound ever came out because I didn't know how to program it or set it up. Finally, the first sound I got off this thing was a wind-like sound, but I was so elated that I actually made some noise, it didn't matter. I turned one of the knobs slowly to make more wind-like noises. Then I decided to buy another synthesizer to form a different type of sound. I just loved the analog sound that it made compared to today's digital sound. Now, my equipment and synthesizers are all analog. But technically, digital is much easier to use for editing and other stuff."

His parents were first opposed to the idea of their son having a musical career. They had other plans for him and in an attempt to get him to see their way, made arrangements for him to take a job at a local company. However he left home without telling them before. He supported himself by taking on several part time jobs such as cooking and civil service work while composing songs at night.

In the early '70s he changed completely to keyboards. He joined the band "Far East Family Band" and toured with them around the world. In Europe he met the German synthesizer musician and former Tangerine Dream member Klaus Schulze. Schulze produced two albums for the band and gave Kitaro some tips for the use of synthesizers.

In 1976 he left the band and travelled through Asia (China, Laos, Thailand, India).

Solo career

Back in Japan Kitaro started his solo career in 1977. The first two albums Ten Kai and From the Full Moon Story became cult favorites of fans of the nascent New Age movement. He performed his first symphonic concert at the 'Small Hall' of the Kosei Nenkin Kaikan in Shinjuku, Tokyo. During this concert Kitaro used a synthesizer to recreate the sounds of 40 different instruments, a world's first. But it was his famous soundtrack for the NHK series "Silk Road" which brought him the international attention.

He struck a worldwide distribution arrangement with Geffen Records in 1986; in 1987 he collaborated with different musicians, e.g. with Micky Hart (Grateful Dead) and Jon Anderson (Yes). In 1988 his record sales soared to 10 million worldwide. He was nominated twice for a Grammy award and his soundtrack for the movie "Heaven & Earth" won the award for best original score. He won another grammy award for his album Thinking of You in 2001.

Personal life

Kitaro is very modest. "Nature inspires me. I am only a messenger", he has said. "To me, some songs are like clouds, some are like water". Since 1983, his reverence for nature has led Kitaro to annually give thanks to Mother Nature in a special "concert" on Mount Fuji or near his house in Colorado. On the day of the full moon of August he beats on the Taiko drum from dusk to dawn. Frequently his hands become bloodied, but he continues to pound.

From 1983 until 1990 Kitaro was married to his first wife, Yuki Taoka. Yuki is a daughter of Kazuo Taoka, godfather of Yamaguchi-gumi, the largest Yakuza syndicate. Kitaro and Yuki have a son, Ryunosuke, who lives in Japan. They reportedly separated because Kitaro worked mostly in the United States while Yuki lived and worked in Japan. In the mid-nineties, Kitaro married Keiko Matsubara, a musician who played on several of his albums. Along with Keiko's son, the couple lived in Ward, Colorado on a 180 acre (730,000 m²) spread and composed in his 2500 square foot (230 m²) home studio "Mochi House" (it is large enough to hold a 70 piece orchestra). Kitaro and Keiko recently relocated to Occidental, California.

Other works

He has also worked with guitarist Marty Friedman, formerly of Megadeth, on the "Scenes" album.
Kitaro composed the soundtrack of the Oliver Stone film Heaven and Earth.


[Adapted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitaro]
Also, check out http://www.kitaromusic.com/ for more on Kitaro's music.


Here are some of my favourite songs..

This song is Matsuri.
Whenever I listen to this song, it gives me the spirit and strength that words cannot be explained.

This song is Kokoro.
I was really impressed to see when Kitaro played the electric guitar.
Truly amazing~

This song is The Silk Road.

This song is Koi.
This song somehow brings a sense of tranquillity deep within my soul.
Beautiful~

Kitaro is truly an amazing musician.
I really admire and respect him for his passions in music.
He's one of those figures that I look up to in the musical world.
Now, I kind of found back my passion for music again.
Thank you Kitaro~
Music roxs!~
x3

~Motion Pictures~

Sand Arts





~What A Wonderful World~
My all time favourite song in high school. ^_^

A sound of my garden.

Nightingale

by Yanni