Saturday 25 April 2009

Deng deng deng..

7th April I suspected that I got dengue... that night was still enjoying the Talent Quest Event. My whole body was covered with many red dots(like rashes). I tried calling my mom..she didnt pick up. Most probably she's sleeping. Didnt dare to bother sha zhu coz he got exam.

8th April.. right after progress test(didnt do well).. my friend(Ben) bring me to the town to see doc. Took some blood samples and got some med. Total: RM85. T.T" Need to borrow money from fren(Rick) coz pook-kai edi. While waiting for my blood test results.. I followed all the dota-kakis go cc play. Got pawned like no problem. Then when got my blood test result..platlet count drop like no problem also. Doctor said I need to do dripping at the clinic for a few hours or admit to hospital. So in the end, decided to admit into hospital. Initially was very exicited to enter hospital. My 1st time gona stay at hospital mah. =P Went SunwayHospital..room all full, called SJMC also full, Assunta also full, in the end, end up at Bangsar Pantai Hospital. So, that night stay at hospital. Water drip..not nice.. T_T Other than that, the service was alright. I was like a queen. Being fed and sleep and watch TV all on the bed. LOL. ^o^ 11th morning, my platlet count finally increase abit. So doc decided to let me go. But actually the platlet count was still quite low(lower than nomal ppl). Well, I was still dengue negative and still cannot find out the cause of the sickness. Anyway, I got sick of the hospital. Kept getting needles poking me everyday. Need to draw blood sample twice a day. Plus.. my veins were swollen and had to change different positions for dripping(3times!). Imagine that a needle about 5cm long enters your skin and lay parallel to your bone for a few days! And everytime you go toilet or move your hand too much... blood will be coming out instead(as in enters the water drip pipe instead of the water enters my vein). @o@" When I finally got out from the hospital, I was so glad. T_T"

However, I still had many pressure. Need to study, lab reports, mini projects, etc. In addiditon to that, I was supposed to be mc for that week. But i just cant spare away my time. too many things need to be done. Then, got 1 time, suddenly was so low-blood pressure to the point that I cant even walk. Moreover, I was still at uni that time. I tried contacting alot of people. Finally someone(Lian Hing) replied..I was so glad that i was in the verge of tears. Then, Wenshan came to fetch me to dinner and back home. Haiz..this shows how fragile I was. Anyway, after many suffering and resting, I am now back to normal. But still need to look after my health. My mommy has been stuffing me with lotza good food and pills. Haha.. =P

Anyway, I would like to thanks those that had supported me mentally and physically during this hard time. Thank you mommy, papa, sha zhu, wenshan, lian hing, benjamin, jon, rick, marcus chee, feichai(liau) and the dota kakis(kowei, ahchan, shim, kok boon, sisiang & andrew). Thanks a million! ^_^

p.s. Please ignore my broken english. Lazy to think.. coz need to think too much for the coming exam edi. ^^"

Sunday 5 April 2009

Beauty..

Adapted from http://www.ikedaquotes.org/beauty.html



ON WOMEN'S BEAUTY..

I find a woman's face weathered from numerous storms in life to be beautiful. No matter what her age, just like the beauty of grains on wood that deepens with passage of time, beauty that has endured hardships shines with a distinctive splendor.


When one sees a woman for what she really is, free of decoration or cosmetics, I believe her life in all its naturalness, and her true, indestructible beauty emerges. But what is this elusive quality called beauty?


In ancient Chinese literature the so-called beautiful woman looks thin and fragile. Her feet are tiny, because they have been bound, and she looks frail, almost sickly. That seems to have been the preference at a certain time. But later, in the T'ang dynasty, an ideal woman was someone voluptuous and healthy-looking. Even today, many cultures consider plump women to be beautiful and young women are strongly encouraged to eat well. This may sound incredible to women who live in societies where tall and thin models set the trend for what is considered beautiful.


In my country, Japan, too, the definition of beauty seems to vary according to the times. Beautiful women who were portrayed in wood-block prints during the Edo period had long faces, thin eyes and large, protruding chins. But, after the Second World War, women who were quite buxom were suddenly considered attractive. This makes me question how there can be such different standards in society concerning women's beauty.


Women tend to find themselves caught in a trap that makes them eager to fit themselves in the mold of "the beautiful woman"�a standard set by the social trends of the time.


The purpose of this endless pursuit, and who it is for, are often forgotten. Perhaps, in the end, the pursuit of beauty is actually for yourself, so that you can feel good when you look at yourself in the mirror. If the purpose of beauty is to be attractive to others, then, I would honestly recommend that this time and energy be spent on polishing and cultivating your inner self; your character, as I think that would be much more effective in serving your purpose.


Whether it be your boyfriend, husband, or friends...why are they attracted to you? I am sure it's not only because of your looks but because of who you are, what they find in you, the beauty of your mind and your personality. No matter how pretty a woman is, if her attraction is only in her physical looks, I don't think the appeal will last, but rather fade away with time. True, lasting attraction to another human being comes from an inner beauty and confidence that shine from within.


I once heard a story from a woman who had gone to her twentieth high school reunion. She made an astonishing discovery. Most of the women who had been beauties in their youth looked rather dull, while many of those who had been plain now shone with an inner beauty. As she talked to these friends from many years back, she realized that some of those who had been beautiful had not had to make much effort to attract attention, and this rather self-satisfied attitude had stayed with them through the years, while the more plain-looking women had clearly been working to develop themselves and had become truly attractive as human beings.


For me a woman's true beauty lies not in her appearance, but deep within her heart. A woman who makes all-out efforts and who exerts herself wholeheartedly in her field is beautiful; she really shines. She looks sharp and focused and full of confidence. This kind of radiance will always outshine for me any external beauty related to what a woman is wearing. In fact those who are aware of their inner beauty don't need to seek borrowed beauty from outside. And, sadly, those who care only for their physical appearance are often spiritually impoverished and trying to conceal that lack with exterior trappings.


We all long for things of beauty-beauty of nature, of appearance, of life, a beautiful family and so on. But these cannot be gained if we are withdrawn and isolated, just looking at ourselves. We must create better relationships with other people and interact with our community and society with an open heart. We must be kind to nature. It is only through this process that we really grow and cultivate our own beauty.


A woman who can praise, appreciate and wholeheartedly respect those around her is more beautiful than another who is constantly criticizing others. In the same way, someone who can find joy and excitement of her own in her daily life, or even in nature and the changes of the seasons, has the warmth and brightness that can give a sense of peace and comfort to others. Being an expert in discovering beauty makes one beautiful.


The famous sculptor Rodin once said that beauty is not found in one woman but in every woman. And he identified the source that lights up this beauty as the "flame in one's inner life." The flame of a pure heart, the flame of compassion, the flame of hope, and the flame of courage. These flames are the source of light which enable women to shine with beauty.


It is said that "A woman's beauty shines with age." I find so much wisdom in these words. People normally connect beauty and youth, and cannot link the word "beautiful woman" with "older woman." A young woman in her teens is indeed beautiful, but there is a different kind of beauty that is found in women in their 30s, 50s, even 70s. When we seek beauty inside a person, we will realize that a truly beautiful woman is a person whose inner beauty continues to deepen and be cultivated with time.


Buddhism teaches that your physical appearance is a reflection of your inner self. Hence, a truly beautiful woman knows who she is and what her strengths are and is happy and confident to be true to herself.


Today we live in an age where commercialism determines what is "beautiful," but please remember that you cannot find true beauty in these fashionable trends. Beauty cannot be bought with money either. Many insecure young women tend to become confused by such messages sent out by the mass producers of today's society, but I feel that appreciating and realizing your own beauty means establishing a secure and robust inner self that will not be swayed by outer circumstances.


Every woman can be beautiful. It all begins by believing in your own beauty.

Aiya..

Just dropping by to inform....

Din't managed to get through the semi-final for my uni's singing competition.
Got the news 5days ago. ^^"

For the past few days didn't have much inspiration to do anything.
Have been searching a way to boost my spirit.. wanted to go climb mountain, shout, scream, dance, sing..... anything that can pour out my negative thoughts out.

Today, my spirit seems to be rising bit by bit.
Yokata~