Just a warning to those out there who have a complete family or those that might disagree with me, you might not be able to understand my situation. So, hopefully that you can less judgemental on me and my point of view if you really want to continue and read. Otherwise, just don't emerge yourself into my negativity. Anyway, this is a ranting post. You are warned.
Actually, the argument started over petty things. Well, here goes the story..
This morning, I heard my sister gossiping to that old man about one of my cousin. I was so disgusted at how they speak about my cousin. So, I told them off - not to gossip. Maybe the way I expressed myself was very not well-mannered. So, I end up getting scolded by that old man. I also got heated myself. So Iretreat to my room to cool off my head. However, that old man wanted to talk to me. I told him that I don't want, I want to cool myself down. He still insisted. Fine. I let him in and let him talk while I continued to mind my own business.
You might think that I'm finding my own fault here, but try and imagine if you are at an emotional state, can anything that is against your idea enter your head? For me, none at all. Obviously, he got angry. I also began to fight back his words. I was at an emotional state - can't remember what I had said. He began to slap me. My spectacle flew off far away - luckily I manage to repair my spectacle by myself. He still continue to slap me. At one point, his and was holding my neck as if wanted to strangle me. Fortunately, he did not. From that point, I have already resolved that I no longer have a father.
Since young, my mom was the one that had to struggle and raise me and my sis. That old man's role was so insignificant compared to my mother's. She's like having the role of a mother and a father at the same time at her shoulder.
Other than that, when I was young, I have been emotionally abused by that old man many times. He did hit me. However, this time was the worst.
Physically: My face has swollen, lips with internal bleeding(1part of it is blood-red), gum-aching, jaw-bone and neck muscle pain.
Emotionally: Disappointment, resentment, anger, sadness, etc. It's very hard to describe how I feel.
Ironically, tomorrow's is a Father's Day. Fatherless aye~
Comically, I told myself that I would not be a pretty birthday girl tomorrow. I am turning 21 on the 21st of June. Sigh.. I was really looking forward to my birthday. I have imagined being my good-self with positive image and go out to enjoy myself. I wonder whether it is still possible.
I think that's all for my rantings. Thanks for listening and having a non-judgemental attitude over this matter.
No worries. I will survive through. I know that I am tougher than I look.
ps. pardon my grammer. I'm not in the mood to check them.
2 comments:
Threewords: We are here!!
I'll add in another two since its your birthday: For you!!
Thanks. ^_^
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