Thank you for loving me

Today, I had to let go of the relationship between Sha Zhu and I.
Our relationship lasted for 2 years 1month 2weeks 4days.
However, we are still friends. I still consider him as my best friend.

I do not have the energy to explain again how and why did it became this way.
So, I am going to use the letter I sent to sha zhu to justify myself.
Sha zhu, hope that you don’t mind.

Dear Sha Zhu,
   Before you start reading, please prepare your heart. This is not good news. Take a few deep breaths please before you continue. And please understand and be strong.
   I’ve been thinking a lot lately as you had known. Really a lot. These past few days, I woke up many times in the middle of the night feeling lost. Even though when I am emotionally calmed, I realised most part of me cannot hold on to the relationship anymore. I am really sorry. The doubts between the relationship and myself had started since beginning of this year (about February, March or April). I was beginning to doubt myself and my purpose for holding on to the relationship. These feelings of lost had started so long ago, each day I’m feeling more broken for feeling this way. 
   I was feeling lost and broken between afraid of losing you, my treasured person, and following my heart at the same time. These past few days, I only realized what my heart really wants. My heart is telling me that it is time to let go. Otherwise, if we prolong this situation longer, this would turn bitter and sour and we could suffer more. You can think that I am selfish. Maybe I am selfish. I did say that I want to give another try until December, but I did not persevere until the end. I am really sorry. I realised that I cannot be in a commitment now (I have too many pressures and responsibilities that I cant handle being serious and committed now). And there are many other factors that resulted to how I am feeling now. These past few months, I also realised that my addiction for mangas and dramas are a kind of sickness. I was running away from the reality and from myself by submerging myself into all these addiction. I don’t want to lose myself anymore. Hence, it is time for me to wake up and take the courage and face myself. I am sorry that I let you be involved in my own mess as well.
   You are a precious someone to me. I consider you as one of my most important person in life. What I went through with you during A-level and later on are all precious to me and changed me a lot. I can say, without your presence and supports, I would not be the present Woan Wei. I might be someone different. You taught me how to love myself. That’s one of the most important things I’ve learnt from you. Along my relationship with you, I’ve learnt many other great things as well. You have proved to me that our friendship survived no matter our relationship failed in the past. Hence, I would still want to remain with you as my best friend if it is still possible. As I told you before, I do still have feelings for you. However, again, my heart says it is time to let go and move on. And I need to be true to myself this time. I am really sorry that I cannot hold on with you in this relationship anymore. I understand and know that this will be hard on you and will hurt you, and it pains me as well to do so. I am really sorry. 
   We may still end up being together in future. However, we do not know how the future will be. This time, please do no wait for me. I wish that you could go further in life without a burden of waiting-for-me with you. I will do the same as well.
   Is it possible that we remain as best friend? I would not want to lose you too. But if you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable with it, I will understand. 
   Please forgive me. And if you ever feel that you have lost me. Please don’t feel this way. You will never lose me. Let the memories of our past be of something to cherish. And lets face forward and strive for our goals and dreams in life individually. Please be strong for yourself, I will be strong for myself too.
   Thank you for loving me all this time. You have touched my heart for your efforts and honesty and sincerity. I belief that you have no more regrets like last time coz’ this time you really did your best. I truly cherish and admire you. A person like you is hard to find. Please treat yourself well. Please continue to love yourself and bring yourself more happiness into your life. Everything happens for a reason.
   If we are able to handle this face to face, I would want to give you many hugs for the last moments. I am sorry and thank you so much for everything. *hugs* 
p.s. Later when you are back from your activities, if you need to chat with me, I’ll be there. Just drop me a msg. If possible, I would like to know how you think and feel as well.
With love,
oneway,
Woan Wei.

So, it is time to let go.
I am now on another level of life. This is a new start of another chapter in life.
I am taking a step to unknown places. Hoping to find more happiness, be more true to myself and achieve my every dream and goal in life.

On the other hand, he seems strong with it. I am glad that he’s able to handle this positively. He’s truly a remarkable person.

Thank you for loving me. I hope and pray that you may be happy and have a greater life. May you continue to strive for your goals and dreams, and achieve all of them.

Here’s a song for you…
Thank you for loving me by BonJovi.
  

thank you for loving me songs
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